Everyone experiences times of being misunderstood, or misjudged. In extreme cases we can literally suffer verbal abuse, or even what is rightly called being attacked. While there is a definite human part in all of this, often times it is more than mere human.

We should not be surprised. This tactic is as old as old Slewfoot himself. He seeks to steal (peace), kill (reputations), and destroy (cooperation, testimony). Let me make one thing perfectly clear: I hate the Devil. While it is tempting to get angry or vengeful with people when we are misunderstood or falsely accused, may I suggest a better, yes, a higher way. Direct that emotion at Satan. Beloved, have you not heard it said that we do not wrestle against flesh and blood? OK, then let’s not. The Devil has just picked a fight. The only problem is, he knocks you in the nose and you are stunned. By the time you recover he has ducked or hidden, leaving a brother or sister standing there to whom you now direct your rage. Don’t.

I have had some cruel and vicious attacks against me over the years. It is part of the price of ministry. It also is likely a sign that you are about the strike a blow to the enemy’s plans, or are about to experience a breakthrough. This calls for real discernment.

There are quite a few scriptures which have helped to carry me through such times. Take, for instance, this passage from Romans 12:14-21

“Bless those who persecute you.  Bless them, and don’t curse them…Live in harmony with each other.  Don’t be arrogant, but be friendly to humble people.  Don’t think that you are smarter than you really are.  Don’t pay people back with evil for the evil they do to you.   Focus your thoughts on those things that are considered noble.  As much as it depends on you, live in peace with everyone.  Don’t take revenge, dear friends.  Instead, let God’s anger take care of it all.  After all, Scriptures says, “I alone have the right to take revenge.  I will pay back, says the Lord”…Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil with good.” 

When this happens to you, let me share a few practical thoughts of what to do:

1. Bless and release grace to those who have hurt you. Humble yourself and seek for your part to reconcile. Indeed, your greatest defense and asset in these times may well be your humility. Pray for the “attacker” whom you feel may have been influenced by the enemy and entered into flesh warfare. Follow David’s example in PS 109:3,4. He said when men “surrounded me with words of hatred, and fought against me without cause…I gave myself to prayer.” Later in the same Psalm he says, “let them curse, but You bless.” (v.28)
2. Guard your heart. You are not responsible for the heart of another, but you can and must keep yours. Above all, you must not allow yourself to be contaminated. Praise often. Direct your gaze upward. As David concludes PS 109, wherein he had come under brutal attack, turn and use your mouth according to the purpose for which it was created: “I will greatly praise the Lord with my mouth; Yes, I will praise Him among the multitude” (v.30).
3. Guard your tongue. When called upon, present facts, then do not go any farther. If the person is curious but not one of the involved parties, the less said the better. Direct them to pray as you are. You will be tempted to seek sympathy from man, but in doing so, you forfeit the comfort which comes from God alone. Whatever you do, do not allow yourself the “comfort” of maligning or creating suspicion about another. Never stoop to fighting back. When you do, you have given the Devil a double victory. You prove that you have received the hurt of another, then have chosen to hurt them back.
4. Watch the clock. In these matters, time is a great friend. Make sure you have fulfilled the “as much as depends on you, live peaceably” (RM 12:18) part of your relationship. Then it is time to allow the fruit of patience have its affect. In the case of several of our kids growing up, I have had to discipline them not to pick their scabs after an injury. Wounds heal best when left alone. I had an ankle injury that I kept reinjuring which caused me to be inactive for a few years because I never had the patience to wait for it to completely heal. Given time, through my ankle, and relationships with people who had formerly attacked me, healed—completely.
5. Look for gold. Gold has to be mined. It is hidden and it is rare, but that is why it is costly. There are precious nuggets to be harvested in every test God allows to come your way. Fire and intense heat are added to expose and polish pure and priceless gems. When we suffer reproach or bear the scars of battle, we enter into a deeper fellowship with the One who took our reproach and was beaten for us.

Most of these points can be gleaned from PS 69. Written by David who suffered the assaults of King Saul, Ahithophel his trusted and aged counselor, even his own son Absalom, this Psalm is a masterful roadmap for how to ward off the insipid and infectious affects of betrayal and being despitefully judged. The Psalm is actually Messianic, as some parts of it could only be applied to the suffering of the Son of Man Himself. I have turned to these words many times through the years and found them to be just what the Doctor ordered for my sickness and to heal my wounds (noting at the same time what He went through was FAR more intense and horrible than anything we could go through). Bear in mind, and take heart, that though the Psalm begins with a cry to be saved from the quicksand of being wrongfully accused, it ends with the declaration that despite this seemingly unbearable setback, the purpose of God would still be fully accomplished in David’s life. David confidently announced that Zion would be saved, and cities would be built, that the people would dwell there in peace for generations to come.

“God will save Zion, and build the cities of Judah, that they may dwell there and possess it. Also the descendants of His servants shall inherit it, and those who love His name shall dwell in it.” PS 69:35,36

This should be our hope and expectation as well. And that’s why it is so important that we recognize the enemy when he raises his ugly head. Sooner or later, the Devil will attack you through the words or another. He is, afterall, called the Accuser of the brethren, a role that he relishes in day and night performance (Rev 12:10). Sooner or later, minor misunderstandings can become a full-blown war and threaten to leave you devastated and embroiled in a battle you were never meant to fight. Beloved, these things happen. Be on guard. Though Satan buffet, stand firm knowing that this same Accuser “has been cast down” (Rev 12:10). Choose not to flight against flesh and blood. Not now. Not ever.