“I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord. And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers.” (Mal 4:5,6)

My youngest daughter and I had a wonderful bonding time while on a road trip in the US recently. A memorable moment was when she told me most of her secondary school classmates had little interest in being married or having children someday. They prefer raising dogs. While I was struck by the pessimism, I told my daughter: “God’s going to give you a message of hope for them. Tell them it’s a joy to be a part of a big, happy family. The world may seem dark, but this is your chance to shine!”

That Satan has unleashed his aggression against the family is not only obvious, it was foretold (Mt 10:36; Lk 21:16). That there will be fractures, rebellion, and betrayals within households are all a part of the picture the prophet Isaiah paints that aptly describes the End Times as “gross darkness” (Is 60:2 KJV). We must not forget: He also prophesied that God’s Spirit counteracts Satan’s scheme by releasing even more glory upon us–upon our churches, and upon our families–than we have ever possessed in history.

If we are not anchored in the truth that God is in control, the turbulence of our times will leave us feeling storm-tossed and despairing as the onslaught against our family moorings intensifies. If we are not vigilant, the eroding of traditions, social mores–even our institutions–will leave us marooned on remote and lonely shores of our own making.

Paul’s voyage to Rome is like an allegory of our times. The waves swelled, the tempest raged, and the sky darkened. Tackle was cast overboard and appetites disintegrated. Reeling on the crests of fatalism and gloom, Paul’s voice ballasts the 276 passengers with a message of hope: “take courage, men, because I trust God that it will turn out just as he told me…for there will be no loss of life among you!” (Act 27:25,22).

God revealed His plan of redemption to His servant then; He’s ready to deposit it into our hearts today. As families are swept up in the typhoons of our time, God is going to elevate us into the Eye of the Storm. As the children of the ungodly are ruptured from their parents, and as self-serving parents abandon their own flesh and blood under the craze of demonic forces set loose from the depths, God is pouring out great grace upon His people. As pain and confusion grip those who refuse to bow their knees to their Creator, the Sun of Righteousness is rising with healing in His wings over the homes of His own special people.

All over the world, a marvelous thing is about to be broadcast. As it was when light shone brightly upon each Hebrew household marked by covenant blood even as darkness smothered the Egyptians Moses’ day, a mighty separation will occur. Hearts will start turning under the impulse of the Holy Spirit. Christian homes will be laser-tagged for restoration. The wedge that drives the godless apart will melt like wax before the righteous. The epistles of joy-filled homes are even now being written.

The promise of grace and glory does not guarantee acquisition. While God’s plan to redeem offers us tremendous hope even as ominous clouds encircle us, let me exhort us to respond with two calls to His offer. First, call out, “Turn my heart, Lord!” It is those who come boldly to the throne that find grace in the time of need. If you having living parents, the onus for restoration is on you. Honor them. If you are a parent, stop chiding your sons and daughters. Receive Holy Spirit power and anointing to heal wounds and nurture them to become princes and princesses of the King.

Finally, remember that God intends for your family to be a life raft for the sinking multitudes around you. Paul contended for all the people on his ship. Godly homes where moms and dads have healthy, dynamic relationships with their sons and daughters are going to be lighthouses to the many who are struggling to bail the seas of secularism wafting into their leaking crafts. Call out to them, “Take courage! Things will turn out just as God has spoken.” As I told my daughter, God’s going to give you a message of hope.

We live at a point in history when it’s a struggle to find an example to follow. Many know the hurt and disappointment of leaders who have fallen, or failed us, or whose image has been tainted when the crucibles of life have brought out dross and impurities. In many hearts, a disturbing question is being raised: Outside fairy tales and comic books, are there even any heroes any more? As a world mourns the passing of one of the giants to have strode upon the stage of faith, we are reminded that in Dr Billy Graham we have had much more than a comic book super; we have had a pristine example, a model statesman, and a true hero of the faith.

One of the reasons Billy was so loved is because he was so down to earth. In every tribute I have listened to or read about his legacy, the most consistent message is that he was a humble man. He never thought highly of himself, even though he was a personal spiritual advisor to every U.S. President for half a century. He never gloried in his accomplishments, though he preached to an estimated 215 million people over his lifetime.

One young man never had to climb a beanstalk to hear the Fee Fi Fo Fum of this giant of a man. Growing up in Dr Graham’s long shadow was the fourth of his children, and oldest son, Franklin Jr. Lesser men may have shrunk and hidden behind such a shadow, for the man who cast it was walking with world leaders when a little boy would have longed for his dad to take even a short stroll with him. Lesser fathers would have become intoxicated by the publicity or enamored by the fame, and in this spotlight lost sight of his lonely son who went to bed night after night after night not having heard his father’s voice for yet another day. Despite the ominous weight of such a calling, Billy did not forget. Despite having to share his dad with stadium-filled crowds night after night, Franklin never forgot. He reflected upon his father’s life and death, recalling times when his father would return from long stints away from the family:

“His homecomings were always a big deal…My three sisters, brother and I would tackle him, but he always managed to scoop us up into his loving arms, letting us know how much he had missed us. Then, he would turn his attention and affection to the woman he loved — and who shared her life with him for 64 years.”1

Franklin writes, “The man the world knew as Billy Graham was always ‘Daddy’ to me.” Of all Dr Graham’s stellar accomplishments, this is perhaps the most striking. Billy was, first and foremost, a family man. He always managed to scoop up his children in his loving arms.

When asked about the secret of his sustained and prolonged success, Billy spoke of one thing: beginning every day reading the Bible, and talking to God his Father in prayer. It was in the maintenance and pursuit of intimacy with his own Father, that Billy understood that he was a beloved son. It was in being a beloved son to his Heavenly Father, that he came to understand the power and impact of being a loving earthly father. So through the decades, criss-crossing the nations, he called lost sons and daughters back to relationship with their own Father. All the while, as this little boy grew to become a man in those hills of North Carolina, Billy had become an example and hero to Franklin.

The day came when Dr Graham turned the reigns of his ministry over to his son. Franklin too has preached to crowds on every continent. And he has grown the humanitarian arm of his father’s work—Samaritan’s Purse— to become one of the largest aid agencies in the world. Together they became one of the most formidable father/son teams to have walked the sod of men. This living legacy is the most fitting tribute to this humble preacher, who faithfully and fully served the God Father he loved so much.

1 https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2018/02/21/billy-grahams-new-home-franklin-graham/360065002/

Sorry. It’s the longest five letter word in the English language. Among the 170,000 words in the Oxford Dictionary, it also has a very unique status: Sorry is the word we most like to hear, and at the same time the word we find most difficult to say. To unlock the mystery behind the word, we have to explore regions with astronomic resolve and wonder. We have to look into the human heart.

In one sense, I don’t have to look far…6-8 inches to be exact. I know where it is, and I wear a watch that tells me how many times it beats every minute, resting or running, throughout the day. Understanding this organ should not be that difficult, right? Well, yes, except for the fact that the things in these hearts of ours can on the one hand invoke the highest heights of reverence when a fellow sojourner impresses by the most honorable and sacrificial of deeds, and in the next minute embarrass us to shame by the frailty and selfishness of another.

People of all backgrounds, every age, irrespective of race, economic condition, or religion, all face a common foe: offense. Jesus once said, “Woe to the world because of offenses!” (MT 18:7) Hearts get wounded, stepped on. It is impossible to escape being wronged. The question is not if, but when. Which leads to the next question: what? What am I going to do about it? Will I reconcile, or will I avoid? Will it be fight or flight? Will I flow or flee? Will I build a wall, or cross a bridge? The good news is that we also all have a common friend: Choice. We can choose to forgive.

Easier said than done. Forgiving can be one of the most difficult things you are called upon to do. Whether you are 8, or 80, you will experience times when people will let you down. You will be misunderstood, or neglected, or taken advantage of—guaranteed. It hurts, doesn’t it?! If you scrape your knee, you take time to put antiseptic and a band-aid on the wound to guard against infection. How much more do we need to heal the wounds on our hearts! But how? Is there a medicine that actually works for this illusive chest-dweller?

Sadly, many people go through life not realizing there is a medicine for such wounds. Their emotional wounds turn into nasty scars. The injured heart can devise personality altering defenses to avoid the pain again. Bitterness festers. Friendships can be ruined, marriages paralyzed. Office spaces, classrooms, neighborhoods become like war zones. Despite the good news that we all have the power to choose to forgive, the bad news is that it is never easy to forgive others when they have either intentionally or accidentally scandalized you. It takes courage.

Although everyone likes to be forgiven, it doesn’t mean everyone is willing to forgive. It also is no assurance that once it is offered, it is accepted. But according to psychologist and author Larry Phillip Nims, giving and receiving forgiveness are a key to physical and psychological health. Dr. Nims says: “I am convinced that unforgiveness and related attitudes of resentment and bitterness are among the deadliest dynamics in the human psyche”

While forgiveness is indispensable in all types of relationships—among neighbors, friends, classmates, or colleagues—there is no place where forgiveness needs to be practiced more than at home. Why? Because whenever an offense lingers, just being around the other person can be anything from uncomfortable to intolerable! You can change your job, or seek out other friendships, but you cannot change your family. If a passerby treats you rudely, you are not likely to lose sleep over it. But if you have a strong disagreement with one who sits across from you at the dinner table every night, you can’t simply ignore it. The closer the ties, the greater the need to learn to let go, to extend grace, and to make peace. The family that practices forgiveness is a family that can live in the present rather than sorrowfully looking over the shoulder at yesterday. The atmosphere is cleared of smoke, the closets of skeletons, and the floors of debris. Forgiveness makes a house into a home.

I have witnessed homes which were threatened by the holocaust of broken relationships restored, turning away from a spiral of despair to stand upon a rock of security and stability. Upon the tree of unforgiveness hangs the fruits of anger, revenge, insomnia, criticism, manipulation, alienation, and violence. Cut it down, quickly. Plant in its place the tree of grace whereupon the fruits of patience, kindness, gentleness, community, peace, and encouragement grow. I know it’s hard to say, but decide today to say “I forgive you”, and make “sorry” not the longest, but your favorite five-letter word.

Go team! Go team!
Who do we mean?
We’ll say it loud,
Because we’re proud.

Cheerleaders have evolved to become an integral part of professional sports such as Basketball and Football. They travel with the teams, and represent the teams on and off the court and fields. They are chosen for their skill and charisma, are selected from among thousands of applicants, and are paid top dollar. Though they never touch a ball, or have any direct impact on the outcome of any game, why are they considered so valuable, even indispensable?

The answer to this question lies in this one simple fact: we all need to know that someone is on our side. We need to hear the chorus of others cheering for us, lifting our spirits, injecting energy into us when we are down, reminding us that until the final whistle, there is hope.

Sport teams are not the only ones that need cheering on. The family that discovers the value of becoming one another’s “cheerleaders” has truly learned one of the keys to “winning” over the challenges we face in the world today. We need to be “courtside”, showing our enthusiastic support for each other, and rallying others behind the calls, “You can do it!” Or “You’ve got them on the run!” “We’re proud of you!”

There are plenty of other voices that are also competing for our attention. Instead of “hurrays” , sometimes we hear “boos”. We can easily become beat down and discouraged by the reminder of past failures, or times when we our vulnerabilities have been exposed. When things just don’t seem to be going your way, and when you are going through a valley, as we all do at times, it is especially during these times when we need the unconditional and resounding support of each other in the home. Our cheers can be like turning on a light for one another in a dark room, or a gentle push from behind that moves each other past obstacles and difficulties.

We can’t expect applause and horns sounding in clamorous support of each other in the family from those who are outside the home. For us, we regularly show up and cheer one another on during sporting events, or at other times when family members are facing important or challenging events. We use social media as a tool to show our concerns and to pass along words of encouragement in around these times in the Family group we have created.

Every athlete knows the importance of “home field advantage”. Like the runner in the stadium who hears the roar of the crowd as he rounds the last corner of the race and finds a sudden, explosive burst of energy to blitz past his opponents, may we each learn the importance and power of cheering each other all the way through to the finish line.

Naturally Creative

I can’t draw a straight line without a ruler.  So when I see someone who can paint a portrait of someone without a flaw, my “respect meter” goes off the scale.  It just amazes me to see such talent.

I used to think that some people are creative, and some are not.  As I have matured, I have realized that in fact we all have the capacity and potential to be creative, but in different ways.  I now understand, for instance, that I have my creative side, even if I am not good at drawing.  I easily see connections and relationships of words, I enjoy writing, have written some songs, and even won a dance contest one time.

My Wife is artistic and has a natural ability to “see” compatible colors, and match shapes and things of different sizes, gifts which make her a natural interior designer.  I have enjoyed seeing the world through her eyes even as I appreciate these innate gifts.

But the single most important factor in my discovery is having seven children.  We have always encouraged our children to express their creative side.  We praise their “works of art” even though they may not appear prodigious at first.  We don’t have a TV subscription, but rather encourage them to read, play games, build things, do a project, or learn a skill during their free time.  The results have been astounding.  In this environment they effortlessly and spontaneously generate ideas and never seem to tire of learning.  Here are a couple of things I have learned which can help you to let the flowers of innovation blossom in your children:

1. Acknowledge that we are all creative in our own way.  Start looking at your sons or daughters and say to yourself, “he or she has a huge potential to create and it is my job to nurture it”.
2. Encourage exploration.  Let your kids draw, even it if begins with tracing, or rubbings.  Some may draw better, some will be better working with their hands, yet others are the designer types.
3. Celebrate their work.  Rembrandt was not born in a day.  Post their drawings, display their Lego creations, give them awards and praise for a job well done.
4. Commit to development.  Once you discover a natural gift, help your Son or Daughter to become more skillful, and set aside time for practice.
5. Generate momentum.  You may not have seven kids, but one of the dynamics at work in our household is that the children feed off each other’s gifts and readily learn from each other.  The same could be achieved by inviting some of your children’s friends to your house to do these kinds of things together, or by sending them to a class.
6. Reduce rivalries.  Our experience is that TV and computer time needs to be monitored and restricted greatly.  Some shows or games can enhance creativity when done in a balanced and guided way.  But their use should be limited in order to allow for a rich imagination to be cultivated.

Unleashing our creative side can be an exhilarating and lifetime pursuit.  Nurturing these gifts and skills in our children can also be one of the most rewarding part of our role as parents.  It is never too early neither should it be too late to start.  I have given you a few ideas, but how you move forward is really up to you.  Be creative with it : )

“There have been great societies that did not use the wheel,
but there have been no societies that did not tell stories.”
—Ursula K. LeGuin

For thousands of years, history, important lessons, commonly held beliefs, explanations of mystery and things beyond us, have all been passed down from one generation to another via one very important means: stories. Whether it was the tales told around campfires, or the annual renditions of events which had transformed peoples and places, stories are one of the oldest and most effective ways of communicating our values, our feelings, and our memories. Truth be told, no one can resist a good story!

That’s why I have made it a practice over the years to tell stories to my children. Sometimes we do it around the dinner table; sometimes before bed. Sometimes stories are told during our long “road trips”. Sometimes we tell them with pictures; sometimes a book or a movie serves as a catalyst to make critical lessons or things of interest to become personal. We have often had amazing people from around the world in our home. I take every opportunity to ask them to share their stories with us. Some stories are about things that happened to me, or our family from earlier years. Some of them are of things which took place in ancient times…things which should never be forgotten. Some serve to inspire; some to warn. Some have a moral; some just make you laugh. Information and facts may touch a mind; but stories touch the heart.

C.S. Lewis is one of the greatest theologians of the past one hundred years. And although he wrote great books which explain the path to belief or answer the questions of doubt, he is most famous for the stories he wrote which present these same arguments in timeless allegories which tickle the conscious and echo in the memories of young and old alike.

In the same way, your kids might not remember much of your moralizing. But they will not likely soon forget lessons you have told them that you are able to capture in story form. If this has not been a part of your parenting arsenal, consider ways to open up stories to your children. You may just find that you will have found a key to their hearts.

Old Fashioned Ways

“Good, old-fashioned ways keep hearts sweet, heads sane, hands busy.”
― Louisa May Alcott

Every generation feels like theirs is better than the one before. Computers are faster, transportation is easier, TV screens are bigger, and athletes keep breaking the records of those who have gone before. But a child who discovers the gems of traditions has stumbled upon an oft hidden treasure. He may discover that playing board games with friends is more satisfying than playing a computer game by himself, or that a thousand “friends” on Facebook are not as precious as one or two good ones with whom he can share his heart and hurts. He might even discover that the things Mom and Dad used to do for entertainment really are a whole lot of fun!

My fascination with yesteryear began with one of my first memories. Our family rented an upstairs apartment from an elderly couple named Charlie and Mamie. I remember occasionally venturing down to their house for a tall glass of milk and some homemade cookies; but the thing that stands out more than anything else was sitting on Charlie’s knee and listening to him tell stories. Charlie was living history! He told tall tales of crossing the Midwest in a covered wagon, and of meeting real live “wild Indians”. So olden days were never wrapped in a dull, drab cloak for me. They were like a coat of many colors. A part of me has always wondered why everyone doesn’t feel the same!

I did not realize it at the time, but I had a well-lit path due to the beacons coming from the elderly people in my life. We frequently spent time with both my paternal and maternal grandparents (who were in fact neighbors and good friends with each other!). Sometimes we stayed with them; sometimes they stayed with us. Looking back, I now realize they resembled lighthouses in another very tangible way: they were totally free. Ships never had to pay for the services of the lighthouse; and no one has to pay a penny for the beams streaming from those in our family who have blazed many a winding trail ahead of us.

We close the doors of the past to our children to their hurt. But if we find ways to open the treasure chests of past generations to them, we will have passed on to them those things which will never rust or rot and shall never be taken from them.

PS. I once rode in the local parade with my grandfather in his black 1940 Buick.  And this Studebaker is the spitting image of my grandmother’s that we used to drive around in!

One of the best gifts we can give to our children does not come wrapped with a bow on it. This gift is not something which is only given on special occasions. You don’t even have to spend a lot of money on it. And unlike so many other gifts, it will not be put away in a closet once the novelty is worn off. It cannot be broken, get rusty, or grow mold. It needs no batteries. I speak of the gift of encouragement.

The word encouragement literally means to put courage into, to inspire with courage, and to foster confidence. As parents, simply by virtue of the kind of relationship we have with our children, we have access to the means of building strength into our sons and daughters to face difficulties and challenges. We wield a tool which can make them stand tall when others around them are sitting, an instrument which will stimulate them to overcome fears and opposition, and provide leadership to others around them.

Unfortunately, many of us have never discovered the power of encouragement. We tend to point out our children’s faults, and remind them of their failures. We do not interact with them up front, or mid-stream, but rather only at the conclusion of their efforts and projects, and then our criticism rains down like hail upon their vulnerable spirits. The wise parent recognizes that words of praise and support along the way are like the people who line the streets during a marathon, cheering for the runners and providing them with water throughout the race. Too many of us only wait at the finish line looking at our watches, unaware of the fact that we were needed along the way. When they don’t live up to expectations, or give up along the way, our disappointment reads like a neon sign saying “it’s not worth the effort, you are a failure.”

I once heard an Olympic sprinter say that he was shocked when kneeling for the finals of his race the thought which was going through his mind just before takeoff was whether or not his father was watching. Our children need our encouragement. Our encouragement emboldens them to face life’s challenges, big and small. Start today. Let your children know that you are their biggest and best supporter. Your gift will be one that will never break or rust, and will never, ever be forgotten.

The Wealth of Traditions

“A good man leaves an inheritance for his children’s children.” PR 13:22

We live in such a materialistic world that people confuse valuables for what is valuable. The things that I lay up for my children when I am gone are enshrined in a will. But the riches which are matters of the mind and heart can only be passed on while I am alive. These are the things which truly remain.

My penchant for traditions arises from an important discovery: the values upon which healthy families are built are promoted or maintained by most of the older stories, movies, and memories of yesteryear. Since I am singularly committed to establishing the strongest possible foundation for my family, injecting every means at my disposal which lends itself to success, why would I wink at this verdant provision? Why would I subject my children to the unbridled screening of infidelity when I want to breed faithfulness. Why expose them to promiscuity, violence, foul language, or acrid humor when my vision for them is that they might be honorable, peace-loving, and an encouragement to the people who are around them? The media which bombards them every day taps the sensational because it sells. I would rather risk being called old-fashioned and watch a Shirley Temple movie. You may think it will never work, but it has for me. Laurel and Hardy may have been immortalized long ago; but they are still very much alive in our household, at my sons’ and daughters’ behest.

So how does a family draw from the wealth of this “account”? Here are a few suggestions:

· Speak of some of your own positive and beneficial take-aways from the past. This can be personal, or those of your parents, ancestors, nation, etc.

· Allow grandparents or family members from the older generation to mix with your children, and create the context whereby some of the great stories can be passed down.

· Intersperse your movie selections with some of the classics (e.g. Wizard of Oz, Mary Poppins, etc.)

· Do the same with some old TV series. “I Love Lucy” is sure to be a winner!

· Reading a book or series like ‘The Little House on the Prairie” worked very well for us. This or another similar book which chronicles wholesome family values would be a great place to start.

· Visit some awesome museums together. Then spend some time talking about it together. Antique stores are also a rich source for stirring the imaginations of your children.

· Work on some projects together that helps to link them with their past…such as constructing the family tree, or organizing and storing old photographs, or making a scrapbook.

· Organize a family reunion, or take advantage of an existing holiday or festival during which extended family will be present, and plan events which are fun and commemorate some of the ancient treasures which are uniquely a part of your families’ identity.