Children need to know that they always have access to their parents. There should never be a time when a child feels as though the door to his mom and dad is closed. On the contrary, when my son or my daughter knocks on our door, he or she should know that the sign reads “Open, 24/7”.

Unfortunately, many children knock on the door that has another sign hanging there. “Busy”. “Come back later”. “Take a number”. “On vacation”. What we as parents need to understand is that children don’t need to have a “reason”. Their problem or question doesn’t have to be earth shattering. It doesn’t have to be a crisis. In fact, it doesn’t have to be anything. Maybe all he or she needs is a hug, a smile, or a pat on the head. Maybe the question is not the point of coming at all, but a smoke screen of what’s really happening inside: a cry for affection, or affirmation. I find even my older kids will at times just come and sit on my lap—for nothing!

Of course there are also real problems or questions that are itching for an answer too. They start out simple and grow complex as our children grow. But each step along the way, they need to know they can come to us, anywhere, anytime. Otherwise, when children find that our door is closed, they will begin to knock elsewhere. Little girls may knock on the door of the first boy who shows an interest in them, and then the next, and the next. Little boys may knock on the door of the boy in the gang who is a little older, and cooler than they are. Before you know it, your daughter has formed an approach to life, and your son has become trapped in a web from which escape is costly.

Being a parent does not mean you have to know everything. But it does mean that you have to be available. It means your children need to know that your door is always open: “24/7”.