Monthly Archives: September 2015

Traditions

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The Wealth of Traditions

“A good man leaves an inheritance for his children’s children.” PR 13:22

We live in such a materialistic world that people confuse valuables for what is valuable. The things that I lay up for my children when I am gone are enshrined in a will. But the riches which are matters of the mind and heart can only be passed on while I am alive. These are the things which truly remain.

My penchant for traditions arises from an important discovery: the values upon which healthy families are built are promoted or maintained by most of the older stories, movies, and memories of yesteryear. Since I am singularly committed to establishing the strongest possible foundation for my family, injecting every means at my disposal which lends itself to success, why would I wink at this verdant provision? Why would I subject my children to the unbridled screening of infidelity when I want to breed faithfulness. Why expose them to promiscuity, violence, foul language, or acrid humor when my vision for them is that they might be honorable, peace-loving, and an encouragement to the people who are around them? The media which bombards them every day taps the sensational because it sells. I would rather risk being called old-fashioned and watch a Shirley Temple movie. You may think it will never work, but it has for me. Laurel and Hardy may have been immortalized long ago; but they are still very much alive in our household, at my sons’ and daughters’ behest.

So how does a family draw from the wealth of this “account”? Here are a few suggestions:

· Speak of some of your own positive and beneficial take-aways from the past. This can be personal, or those of your parents, ancestors, nation, etc.

· Allow grandparents or family members from the older generation to mix with your children, and create the context whereby some of the great stories can be passed down.

· Intersperse your movie selections with some of the classics (e.g. Wizard of Oz, Mary Poppins, etc.)

· Do the same with some old TV series. “I Love Lucy” is sure to be a winner!

· Reading a book or series like ‘The Little House on the Prairie” worked very well for us. This or another similar book which chronicles wholesome family values would be a great place to start.

· Visit some awesome museums together. Then spend some time talking about it together. Antique stores are also a rich source for stirring the imaginations of your children.

· Work on some projects together that helps to link them with their past…such as constructing the family tree, or organizing and storing old photographs, or making a scrapbook.

· Organize a family reunion, or take advantage of an existing holiday or festival during which extended family will be present, and plan events which are fun and commemorate some of the ancient treasures which are uniquely a part of your families’ identity.

Love Is A Choice

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Love is a Choice

“Moses…refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, choosing rather to suffer” Heb 11:24-25

Love involves choices. Hard choices. It involves forgiving when you know someone doesn’t deserve it. It involves giving, even when it hurts. It involves huge commitments of time, resources, and energy. It involves laying aside your security; at times, it requires us to lay down our reputations. Love speaks the hard and unpopular things: bringing correction, issuing warnings, even rebuking. Jesus said, “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten” (Rev 3:19).

Moses’ choice to identify with and help his people cost him everything. All of history is deeply indebted to Moses not just because he performed great and miraculous deeds, but because he did them from a pure, unadulterated motivation of love.

In the last days, Jesus warned us that our ability to love would be severely tested. Matthew 24:12 says that this happens as a result of an increase of wickedness in the earth that, if we do not guard our hearts diligently, makes us numb to evil. The heart of man is being pushed to the edge. It will either become hard and cold, or it will, by grace, stay hot and soft.

An incident took place in China in 2011 which highlights the depths of apathy to which man has succumbed in our day. A two-year old girl named “Little Yue Yue” wandered out of a store where her mother was shopping and was subsequently run over by two vehicles. As she lay dying on the street, CCV cameras recorded no less that 18 people over the next 7-8 minutes who skirted around her body, ignoring her as she lay there bleeding to death. The rise of ISIS in recent times, with their public beheadings, even burning people alive in cages, has made the barbarous commonplace. We have become desensitized…or have we?

Many have, and more will. But it need not be our destiny. As the time of His appearing nears, we will all be tested in our love. Now, scriptures like “pray for those who persecute you” or “love your enemies”, sound more like catchy religious sayings than they do practical instructions. That is changing. Your love is being tested now in order that it might come forth as gold during the darker times which are coming.

And so it becomes absolutely necessary for Christians to guard our hearts, and make choices for and not against love. Our Sunday school definitions will not work for us when the floodgates of wickedness are opened wide. We need to grasp the height, depth, midst, and breadth of the love of God, and choose the way of love even though everything in us may press us away from such a difficult path.

Understand that Moses was brought up in Pharaoh’s palace, with every comfort, every privilege, and every type of pleasure available at the snap of his fingers. The fact that he ventured out among the Israel slaves was unexplainable, completely out of the ordinary. And yet when he saw how they were oppressed and afflicted (“Moses…looked at their burdens”, v.2:11), he chose to do something about it rather than to retreat back to the comfort of his palace. Ex 2:11 says “Moses…went out to his brethren.” Beloved, once Moses saw them as brethren, not Hebrews, not slaves, not oppressed people, he was positioning himself to take action. We will never do with our hands more than we see with our eyes. In order to love as we are called to love, we are going to need to ask God’s help to open up our eyes.

Once our eyes are open, we still have to made right choices. It is very, very risky, so we have to be prepared. When we see crowds, we see inconvenience. When Jesus saw them, he saw a people harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. When he saw the sick, or those oppressed by the Devil, something moved at the very core of his being to bring healing and deliverance. The Bible never used the word sympathy as a description of an emotion of our Lord. Compassion feels not only FOR someone, it feels WITH and AS another.

That is why Moses “went out the second day” (Ex 2:13). He was no longer controlled by “wisdom”. It no longer mattered what others might say or do. The thought was no longer “what about tomorrow?” If Jesus had chosen to go into town to get some food after the long journey, or even to quietly rest by the well until they returned, no one would have given it a second thought. But Jesus, despite being “wearied from His journey”, had compassion on this pitiful woman who had one broken relationship after another. Paul later explained why Moses, or Jesus, or Mother Teresa, or Heidi Baker, acted in these radical ways. He wrote: “for the love of Christ compels us” (2 Cor 5:14). One who is under compulsion acts spontaneously and instinctively. There is an inner urge, a push, a lift.

We live in treacherous and shallow times. Friendship are casual to the point of being virtual. Commitments are made and broken willy-nilly. We love a sport’s team, a certain flavor of ice cream, and we love our mother and our spouse. If we look around us for a definition of love, we see a boat without a sail, a rudder, or an anchor. People are confused, and in that state of mind, in the face of unprecedented evil, Christians are being challenged to a higher place. Our hearts are being tested. Will we be made bitter, or better as evil increases? Will we retreat to our palaces as oppression and death abound around us? A standard is being raised throughout the earth for believers to be motivated by compassion, to see people as our brothers and sisters, to stir up the fire of God’s love in our hearts for the lost and the broken.

Excuse the cliches, but love is not sloppy agape. It is not passionate kisses, and it is not a dozen roses. Love is much more than a feeling. It sacrifices, it risks. It may involve words, but it must involve actions. The hearts of men will grow cold in our time. Our capacity to love will be stretched to the breaking point, when we will find no other way but to cry out to God for His love to take over and compel us from the inside. Persecutions will increase, and our enemies will begin to come out from among the shadows. Moses refused the label he had been given as the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. He chose the way of love. My love, your love is being tested in this hour. Choose love. Amen.

Combatting Teenage Rebellion

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How do parents keep their children from becoming victims of rebellion during those volatile teenage years? The most important thing to bear in mind is that the seeds of rebellion are sown while they are growing through the formative years leading up to their teens. When children realize that there are consequences for wrong behavior at every stage of growth, for instance, they will be more likely to consider repercussions of their actions when they become teenagers. While there is no formula, here are a few suggestions:

Always communicate unconditional acceptance of your children. Affirm them often, so that when conflicts arise as they mature, they will still move towards you and not away from you.
Be consistent and wise in disciplining your children. Follow through. When you say there will be a punishment, keep your word. Children who experience boundaries as real also come to understand there is wisdom and benefits to them.
Gradually grant them the independence they desire at the age appropriate time. This is a skill. To hold the reins too tight for too long can embitter a child. To hold the reins too loose, and to release them too early can set them up for failure and breed insecurity and mistrust.
Communicate, communicate, communicate. At every stage communication is key. As they mature, communication is paramount. The child who feels like his parents hear and understand him will not wander far down the road of rebellion. Learn to listen.
Have and communicate a plan, then do it.  Achieving the goals of the plan are never automatic. Acceptance is unconditional. Rewards are not. They are a result of well thought up plans and our children’s compliance to their part in the process.
Continue to do things together. Find things that are of interest to your children but which can be enjoyed together. I may do sports with my boys, but I also have regular “DDDs” with my girls (Daddy Daughter Dates).
Help them with the definitions. Since teenagers are seeking definitions, guide them in discovering them. Be careful not to tell them the answers you want to hear. The skillful parents knows that when they discover the answer, this ownership is not easily taken from them. Do not push them to accept your definitions. They will likely push back.